Somehow it’s already been two years since Moses Alexander Moyers made his entrance into this world. Two years since I first got to meet the little person that would complete my little family in ways I never knew a tiny baby could. Before he came along, I knew about as much about Down syndrome as the next person, and what I knew were mostly the typical stereotypes and generalizations that are casually assigned to people with Down syndrome. Needless to say, I’ve learned a lot in these past two years about Down syndrome, about my family and friends, and about myself. In honor of Moses’ 2nd birthday and Down Syndrome Awareness Month, here are some of the do’s and don’ts of Down syndrome that I have learned:
- DO congratulate an expecting or new mother of a baby with Down syndrome. How? It’s easy. Simply say, “Congratulations!” Whether the baby has 46 chromosomes or 47, it’s still a baby.
- DON’T say “I’m sorry” when you’re told a baby will be or is born with Down syndrome. Would you say that to a woman who just says, “I’m pregnant”? Even if she has tears in her eyes because she’s scared of becoming a mother or terrified of how she’s going to handle adding another child to her crew? I would hope not. Seriously, don’t say it.
- DO get to know Moses. He will literally light up your world with his smile and his comical personality.
- DON’T forget about his big sister, Josie. She is his favorite person on this planet for a reason. She will also absolutely brighten your day with her beautiful smile and animated stories. So much of what Moses learns is because of this amazing little girl.
- DO acknowledge that he has Down syndrome. Could you imagine Shaquille O’Neal as a short, skinny, white guy? Right. In the same way, I can’t imagine Moses without Down syndrome. It’s part of who he is and makes him Moses so why try to pretend it’s not there?
- DON’T call him a Downs kid. It may not seem negative or offensive to you, but it is. This is not a debatable point. Just as it would be offensive to call him retarded, it’s also offensive to call him a Downs kid. He’s Moses, a kid…who has an extra copy of the 21st chromosome. But you can just call him Moses.
- DO ask questions. Questions lead to knowledge. Knowledge leads to understanding. Understanding leads to acceptance. Acceptance leads to a better world for all people.
- DON’T expect me to have all the answers. One thing I’ve learned is that all people with Down syndrome are unique. So while I’ve learned a lot about Down syndrome in the past 2 years, there is still a lot that I don’t know about it yet.
- DO understand that it’s harder and takes longer for Moses to learn how to do things. That might seem daunting to some people, but I’ve learned that it makes his accomplishments that much sweeter.
- DON’T underestimate anything about him, including his intelligence. He seriously started to catch on to how to give a wet-willy after Josie did it to him just twice. I’m actually praying it takes him a while to understand that he has to stick his finger into his mouth before sticking it into my ear.
- DO celebrate him and all those with Down syndrome. Is Moses perfect? No. Neither am I. Neither are you. No one is. Thankfully, none of us have to be perfect to be important and celebrated.
- DO believe me when I say that Moses has brought way more ups to my life than downs. Believe any parent, family member, or friend of a person with Down syndrome that says the same thing. Believe us because what we say is true.
Happy birthday, Moses! You have taught me a lifetime of lessons in these two short years. I can’t wait to see what this year has in store for you!