This morning as I sat on the edge of the exam bed and watched the images of Moses’ heart show up on the screen, I noticed a familiar feeling coming up in my chest and head. I thought to myself, “I’m starting to feel anxious.”

Six years ago, Moses had a device implanted to close the hole in his heart. He has an echo and ECG done every 3 years to make sure everything still looks good.

Going into this appointment, there was really no reason to think that there was anything to be concerned about. Moses is healthy and shows no signs of any issue with his heart. Still, sitting on the edge of that bed and seeing the images triggered that pesky doubt that is always there, waiting for its chance to take charge.

All too often I let it do just that, especially when it comes to Moses and his health.

But today, I paused and changed my wording. I took a deep breath and thought, “I’m starting to feel anticipation.”

Anticipation can go both ways.

That helped me to refrain from going down the rabbit hole of anxiety and imagining what possible problems and challenges we might be facing.

Instead I was able to continue watching and telling Moses what an amazing job he was doing and genuinely stay calm.

When the doctor came in before the tech had even finished the ECG and reported that the echo looked great and the ECG did, too, the joy came.

Yes, Moses has had health challenges. And some of them have been serious.

And through every one of them, God has been there. He has always brought him through it.

So it was with anticipation of God’s continued presence and goodness that I was able to stay calm today. That I was even able to feel hopeful that things were going to be okay.

Sometimes just a small change can make a big difference. Sometimes all it takes is changing one word.