Running On E

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

That’s the thought that has been running through my head.

Because mine is about empty.

Tonight I have gotten to work on refilling it.

This kids are at my in-laws. My husband is out celebrating the end of his school year.

I am ignoring the piles of clothes covering the dining room table that need to be put away and the mess of papers littering the kitchen counters. I’m going to let the dishes stay in the dishwasher until tomorrow and not care that the bathrooms haven’t been cleaned this week. I decided against going shopping for a new swimsuit or flowers that would’ve likely died before I could plant them. The top of my dresser has been collecting papers and pictures and dust for months, but I’m not going to clean it tonight.

Instead, I took this evening for me. I have gotten to sit on the couch and eat too many chips and french onion dip while watching TV. I got to finally take full advantage of the free vacuums at the new fancy car wash. (I don’t even want to know how many Cheerios, Fruit Loops, and penguins were in the cracks of those car seats…). I was able to turn off my phone and sit quietly with my thoughts for 45 uninterrupted minutes. I’ve taken the time to write.

I know that I’m in the season of life that requires me to take care of others in a big way, both at home and at work. But that doesn’t mean that I have an unlimited reserve of mental, emotional, and physical energy to unceasingly meet the needs of those who depend on me. That I don’t need to have my own needs met.

Right now, I’m tired.

Mentally.

Emotionally.

Physically.

Which is why I need time like this to myself. It’s quiet times like this that I am able to think, reflect, and pray for direction.

Some may think it selfish for me to be as thankful as I am to be at home alone this evening. I know there was a time I thought it was a selfish thing to want to do, let alone actually do it.

But even Jesus needed time alone to think, reflect, and pray, right? There were times that he told the twelve guys following him to leave him alone. I think that’s pretty understandable considering he spent his days being sought out to heal the sick and raise the dead, feed the masses and turn water into wine, and somehow also find the time to teach life-changing lessons in ways his students could understand. He knew there were times that He needed to take time for himself up on a mountain or in a boat in the middle of the sea. So He did. And then He was able to come back and continue serving others.

I know that doesn’t quite compare to what I do on a daily basis for my husband, children, geriatric dog, friends, students, etc. But like Jesus, after spending my days serving others, there comes a time that I need to stop.

Be still.

Be quiet.

Pray.

Tomorrow when I wake up, my cup will be refilled. It may not be overflowing. It may not even be to the top. But at least I will feel like I have something in there to pour out for others. Because you can only run on empty for so long.

I hope that you will make the time and take the time to make sure your cup is filled, too.

One thought on “Running On E

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